It’s A Interesting Time to Feel The Feels

So, I have feelings

From excitement to sadness they’re all typically present in my day to day life. And over the years I’ve definitely felt like my emotions were in control and that I was just a bystander. The feelings would show up with full force and ready to rumble. And I wasn’t ready. But after some continued work with my therapist and taking some recommended courses I committed to getting ready. (Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready folks).

After taking courses from the Paradox Collective around Emotional Regulation and Distress Based Tolerance I’ve learned that emotions do have purpose, even if I don’t like them. I used to be (and sometimes am now if I’m honest) annoyed and frustrated by emotions like sadness. I only saw value in my ability to be productive and sadness definitely didn’t care about my productivity. But I’ve learned to lovingly tolerate my feelings on a bad day and on a good day willingly embrace them. 

As I’m experiencing some depression around grief at the moment, I am reminded that grief and depression have purpose. Though inconvenient and unpredictable in some ways, it deserves it’s time. 

 The quote “But what is grief, if not love persevering” from the TV show Wanda Vision is one that really resonates with me and is helping me to press into those feelings right now.  To help me continue working through my depression and sadness, my therapist recommended I write something. So here is a little something about the one and only Mr. Franklin. 

His name was James Lee Franklin Jr. or Mr. Franklin as I called him

Sports fanatic, music connoisseur and a jack of all trades, Mr. Franklin was a lot of things to a lot of people. A tough but passionate coach, a complicated but loving father, an uncle, a cousin and always someone with a lot of advice to give based on his varied experiences. 

Mr. Franklin has been a part of my life since I was around 10 years old. He saw me through my awkward basketball playing phase (that honestly lasted longer than it should have), my high school ups and downs, and into the creative adult that is currently doing her best. 

He always would tell me to name a hall after him, and though I don’t have that much power quite yet, I thought a blog post would be a good start.

So here is to you Mr. Franklin *raise a glass*

To the man who at times was hard to like but was always loved and loved deeply. 

To the father that had extended arms to take in more and more children under his wing

To the chef who was always trying new recipes that were at times questionable

To the coach and teacher who always had something to add

To you, Mr. Franklin.

Though we didn’t always see eye to eye, I never questioned the love you had for me and for that I am forever grateful. 

Until we meet again,

Your daughter, 

Mia