These days, I’m not so sure.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not over here making it rain in the bookstore and buying boba on a daily basis (Even though I’d love that). Due to my mom’s diligence, I am decent at managing money. She taught me the basics of saving, looking for deals, and of course, managing debt since she was working on paying off her mortgage.
As I started to become more aware of my own personal finances, I realized debt confused me. Is it good? is it bad? is it a necessary evil? Maybe all of the above.
My first experience with having debt myself was in college. I was working and got my first credit card since I had income to pay it off. I also needed to take out loans to help pay for college. Though I managed my credit card debt by only using it, when necessary (aka schoolbooks, conferences, and the occasional fun trip), I had no idea about managing long term debt like student loans.
After I finished college, I got my first job (Yay!) but then came the notice that it was time to start paying back my loans (Boo!). I quickly learned how fast money came and went as I paid for rent, utilities, gas, student loans, and more. A year later I added car payments to that list of monthly expenses because my car decided it would no longer run properly. I felt like I would be swimming in debt for forever. Which was not the life I wanted to live.
Growing up, I always thought the point of debt was not to have it. I learned from my mom to keep the balance on my credit card low and pay it off as soon as possible, while not taking on more than I can handle. I later learned from my bank that it benefits my credit score to pay off my various debt, on time, every month. Leaving me thinking “This imaginary money game is stupid”
I appreciated the imaginary money because it helped me do things (Within reason) that I wouldn’t be able to do. But I honestly hated looking at it (and still do to this day). It may just be my own pride, and not liking owing things to people or institutions, but I wanted this debt gone as soon as possible. So, I focused on one pile of debt at a time. I started with the student debt and then went to my car loan and over a couple of years I paid both of them off (Yay!)
But that didn’t last too long because life continued happening as it does (Boo!). I had to replace the transmission in my car, which was $4,500 and I was soooooo sad. Like “Bruhhhhhhhh”, I just paid this car off, now more debt. Between this mishap with my car and my weekly therapy sessions that I pay out of pocket, your girl is constantly in some sort of debt. And I’m slowly starting to be okay with that.
Though it’s not my favorite place to be in financially, I’ve come to terms with the frustrating fact that life happens and thus so does debt. It’s just how I handle that on top of my monthly expenses that matters. So, I’ve been taking matters into my own hands to start becoming financially wiser.
I started by updating an excel spread sheet that my friend had shared with me oh so long ago. I then downloaded the Mint App to make some financial goals. Because I’m honestly more likely to open an app than an excel sheet. Annoying I know, but because I know that about myself I can make more intentional choices to keep up to date with my finances more regularly. I’ve also been listening to black woman talk about money. The Balanced Black Girl Podcast has had a mini-series talking about financial wellness and it’s been giving me the inspiration to keep trying to manage my finances and understand my lifestyle more.
My financial lifestyle is influenced by factors such as being single, living alone, having clinical depression, and wanting to be a future cat mom. These factors and others influence many of my financial choices and what I choose to prioritize.
For example,
I spend more money on premade food because I never know when I won’t have the motivation to cook because of depression.
I prioritize living in a 1bedroom because living in a small studio wasn’t helping my mental health
I’m starting to invest more in dance classes, because movement helps me feel good-all around.
I just started a membership to a co-working space because working from home is really hard for me.
I understand that I have some financial privileges to be able to afford to make these choices and I don’t take that lightly. Financial stewardship is becoming more and more of a priority to me. Especially as I’m working 2 jobs and trying not to take on any more jobs. In addition, I’m starting to look at debt as just an extension of my finances. There will be times where I’ll have a great debt free or close to it couple of months, and other times where I’m just trying to pay it all off. I just have to adjust accordingly and I’m here for it.
What does your relationship with debt look like?
