For some reason, I’ve convinced myself that being a morning person means that I’m peak “Adulting”. And by some reason, I mean all of the productivity and morning routine videos I’ve watched on youtube over the past year hahaha.
Now, I know the youtube algorithm does not define what it means to be an adult. But I can’t deny how appealing a slow morning sounds. I could wake up with enough time to pick a stylish outfit, make and eat breakfast, make my lunch and do some light stretching. It sounds nice right? like I’m actively adulting?!
But alas, I’m not currently there.
Right now, I have a schedule that includes dog walking, private event coordinating and learning to run a blog. The balance right now isn’t great so I’m trying to see how I can use my time more wisely. My hope is that by becoming a morning person I can move through the day with more intention. Instead of just rushing from task to task without a care for myself and my needs I want to slow down and prioritize what matters so I have the energy to do the things that give me joy.
A solid argument for becoming a morning person. But I have a problem…I love to sleep. I let my blankets take me captive on a regular basis and ignore the alarm like it’s my least favorite vegetable. I feel like I can always sleep more and I take advantage of that feeling. Obviously, that attitude isn’t going to help me become a morning person.
Though, I have been trying to get up earlier this past month and here were the results.
About 40% of the time, I got up early with enough time to pick out an outfit, pack my lunch and wonder “How come I don’t do this all the time. The other 60% of the time I pressed snooze so many times I didn’t have time to do any of that. I just rushed to grab clothes and get out of the house with some form of breakfast. Reflecting over that time, I’ve learned that being a morning person is something that I’m capable of! but I currently lack the will power to make it a regular reality.
I think about my “Why” and how it hasn’t been strong enough. When I say my “Why” I mean my motivator. What is the thing that’s going to get me out of the bed when the blankets have taken me captive and there’s no way to escape? My current “Why” has been “because it’s important”, which worked at first but didn’t last. I would convince myself that getting up wasn’t as important or that I could do it in less time with less care and less attention to detail. Which totally defeats the point. So, I’m in need of a new “Why”
My new Why” is “Because I matter”
In a healthy mindset it’s hard to argue with that one. Because I matter, I need to care for my physical and mental wellbeing in the mornings. I’m still working on maintaining that healthy mindset though. It’s honestly hard for me to always feel like I matter. Being a black woman in America combined with my clinical depression and feeling less than in relationships, I’m not surprised that I have moments where I question if I matter. And in the moments where I don’t feel like I matter neither does eating breakfast, wearing a cute outfit, listening to my body, etc.
Now you don’t have to feel sad for me, I’m in therapy and in my deepest heart of hearts I know that I matter. That message just doesn’t always make it up to my brain when I need it to.
So, I’ve concluded that if I really want to be a morning person, I have to work on being more disciplined with my mind and my actions (using those mental health skills!)
I have to act like I matter even if I don’t feel like it
Even if I’d rather be in my bed
Even if all the physical and mental messages within me are telling me otherwise.
Because I do matter
My life is important
And I deserve to take time for myself.