New Year, New Me?
Not Exactly, to be honest.
Did I grow a lot in the last year? Yes!
Did I gain a lot of tools in the past year to manage my mental health? Also, Yes!
Am I a new person just because it’s now 2023? Nah…
Same (Ever growing) Mia, New Goals, New amount of enthusiasm
I’m not gonna lie though, I’m not starting the year off as strong as I hoped. I’m currently tired from my own work-a-Holic tendencies. I over scheduled myself in december with too many house sitting/ dog walking gigs without a healthy break in between each of them. And I’m currently in a lingering depressive episode. Exhaustion and depression complement each other too well for me.
Since I’ve experienced this “lovely” (that is sarcasm, it is not lovely lol) combination before I know I’ll make it to the other side. But I also know that it’ll take some intentionality to get me to the other side… and it’s honestly kind of annoying. I’d rather be living my best “New Year” life but instead I’m pushing myself to eat vegetables and dragging myself to dance classes because I know it’ll help me in the long run. I just need to rest and be intentional. And boy oh boy, do I know about rest.
Last year, my word for the year was rest and I struggled a lot. One could say I wrestled with rest the entire year and will be a lifelong student of its teachings. And though I’m reluctant to rest in this moment, I know that I had a whole year of preparation for moments like these.
For 2023, my phrase is “Dream Big”
I want to dream big about what it looks like to be holistically well. I want to be curious about my own growth and press further into my passions!
Now, unfortunately, dreaming big doesn’t mean that my depression disappears. Or that my anxiety dwindles into nothingness. But instead, I’m dreaming big with my limitations in mind. Which for me means having a caring and determined mindset. Being open to not every day being my best but making the best out of every day.
I am an imperfect human, with limitations and ambitions. All of that can be and is true. But having limitations doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to dream big. It just means that my dreams and how I execute them are a little more creative than they used to be. And I’ve always loved a challenge, so challenge accepted.