So, here’s the tea. I’m currently going through an interview process, and I forgot how much of a mental game this process is.
Like, why are you sending me questions the day before the interview when I scheduled this interview last week? You couldn’t send them sooner?
Why are you asking 2+ things in 1 interview question? That’s confusing!
Are y’all just trying to gang up on me with your group panels? FYI, I did spend time googling ALL OF YOU
Now, I know I’m just complaining about common practices and procedures, but my anxiety makes it a little extra stressful. Plus, I’m allowed to have my qualms with the interviewing process.
As I’m writing this, I’m trying to remember to “Just be myself”. But what does that even mean?!?!
How do I be myself? but also show the panel all that I have to offer in one take? While also being genuine and not overthink it? Who do I show up as? My wonderful chameleon self typically likes to adjust based on who is in the room but it’s hard to do that when you’re meeting the audience for the first time.
As I was thinking through this, I was reminded of Chimamanada Ngozi Adichie’s Ted Talk titled “We Should All Be Feminists”. In her talk she says the following:
“We teach girls to shrink themselves,
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TEDx Talk, “We Should All Be Feminists
to make themselves smaller.
We say to girls,
‘You can have ambition,
but not too much.
You should aim to be successful,
but not too successful.
Otherwise you will threaten the man.’
Because I am female,
I am expected to aspire to marriage.
I am expected to make my life choices
always keeping in mind that
marriage is the most important.
Now marriage can be a source of
joy and love and mutual support.
But why do we teach to aspire to marriage
and we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors —
not for jobs or for accomplishments,
which I think can be a good thing,
but for the attention of men.
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
in the way that boys are.
Feminist: the person who believes in the social,
political and economic equality of the sexes.”
This excerpt from Chimamanada Ngozi Adichie’s Ted Talk reminds me of my younger self. Growing up as a people pleaser, I really wanted to be liked. And willingly would mold myself into whatever person I needed to be to be liked. Through societal conditioning, I learned not to be too quiet, or too loud. Not too charming or carefree. To the point where just being myself felt like a radical act.
Now as an adult, I’m choosing to be radical. Instead of giving in to the pressure to be someone that I’m not, I am choosing to believe that who I am is enough.
But surprise surprise, that in itself is still work.
It takes work to not let my anxiety run free and convince me that I can’t be my authentically quirky self. It takes work to love myself and believe I’m enough. It takes work to walk through the world confidently (And some days are a struggle and that’s okay). And I’m willing to keep putting in the work.
If curious how the interview went, I will tell you that I choose to be myself. But what did that look like? It looked like…
Choosing to have notes next to me because I can’t remember everything.
Making sure I’m fed and nourished before the interview, so my brain won’t be working extra hard.
Taking a nap before my interview because I was tired.
Wearing “professional” but comfortable clothes so I’m not hyperaware of how I feel in my clothes.
These were all little things that helped me to be confident enough to show up as my most authentic self.
What would help you show up as your most authentic self?
Let me know and please do it!