Happy Birthday to Me!
Your girl just turned 27 (Whoop Whoop!)
And it’s already been an interesting time LOL. Leading up to it I was in a very reflective mood. 26 was definitely a year of growth. so I wanted to share a few things that I’ve learned this year.
I am Important
A basic truth, I know. But sometimes you just have to get back to basics. Truth is, a year ago I hadn’t been treating myself like I was important and valuable.
For those who weren’t paying too much attention, I appeared fine. I still hit my deadlines at work, still was able to work with youth and showed up for friends. But I knew on the inside that something was off. I waited for external validation to prove that I wasn’t just “over-reacting” but that never came. So, I stayed in the same unhelpful patterns until eventually I was just too tired to keep up the façade. Realizing that the way I was treating myself was unsustainable, and some major decisions needed to happen. These decisions would lead (and continue to lead) me down a path of self-discovery and self-love.
After, leaving my job and being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders, treating myself with value has taken an extra level of intentionality. On a random day, treating myself like I’m important can look like feeding myself, being mindful of how much time I’m spending alone and being kind to myself when in an emotional state to name a few. But the list of needs keep growing and I’m just trying to do my duty of keeping up. I am important after all.
I Don’t Want The Same Things I Did a Year Ago
A year ago, all I wanted was for someone to fix me so I could get back to work. I couldn’t handle not functioning to the best of my abilities. Which left me feeling frustrated and uncertain about my future. Who am I if I’m not a work-a-holic, giving my all?
Nowadays, all I want to do is stay healthy. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. All of it! I’ve worked very hard over this past year to be healthy and I am passionate about keeping it that way. I’ve worked diligently with my new counselor, I enrolled in a weekly DBT skills class to increase the tools I have to manage my anxiety and depression and I tried to not isolate myself (Which isn’t as easy as it sounds for a depressed introvert).
I’ve grown so much over the past year and am grateful to be where I am now health wise. Not saying everything is rainbows and unicorns now, because it’s not. But now, (most of the time), I can remember to slow down and prioritize my well being over my work-a-holic tendencies. And for me that is a huge win!
Taking Care of Yourself Is a Full Time Job
As I’m focusing on rebuilding my life this year, I’m learning that this shit ain’t easy! Like somehow, I’m supposed to exercise, feed myself, work, stay connected to my community and keep my sanity on a daily basis. But how?!?!!??!?!
If someone knows the secret message me and let me know because it’s been a learning curve. Learning to prioritize myself after years of not being my own number one fan has honestly been weird. But at the same time refreshing. It’s been refreshing to feel cared for and valued by myself. And I recognize that that work doesn’t stop. I’m at the point where I’m building new systems that nourish and care for me holistically. A new perspective. A new life…that looks very different from what the past 26 years have looked like. But I’m here for it.
They say your 20’s is the time for self-exploration and I definitely feel like I’m exploring into the depths of my being lol. Not what the “Welcome to your 20’s” poster advertised, but I know it’s what I need.
So Cheers!
Happy Birthday to myself! A real one who is learning to embrace vulnerability, slow mornings and self love.
And Cheers to you for reading this far! You are doing it! One step at a time!
